“I derive power from my femininity. And any attempt to make femininity trivial or unimportant is an attempt to take away my power. So I’m going to wear the red lipstick.” Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez American politician and activist
Feminism and lingerie, is there a link?
In that quote by Cortez, let us replace lipstick with lingerie and you get the point.
I am feeling inspired to write about women’s rights and lingerie. And why not? After all, I am a multi-faceted female that demands equality and pretty lingerie at the same time. Does that make me less of a feminist? I think not. Reducing feminine interests such as lingerie, make-up, fashion and other “femine stereotypes” as superficial is an exercise in reducing the feminine. Therefore labeling her as inferior.
Throughout history, the Patriarchy has demanded beauty as an attribute of a woman’s worthiness. Over time women have had to trade beauty in exchange for a little bit of power. Due to the history of these “superficialities” practicing any of these beauty rituals has consciously or unconsciously made women feel like a bad feminist.
We spent our childhood hearing and internalizing gender discrimination; “You look like a girl…you act like a girl… you run like a girl”. As if the feminine was inherently wrong or inferior. Combined with feelings that our value was only as beautiful or as perfect as we could be, many women have felt confused and lost when navigating the beauty and feminine superficiality.
Lonely Lingerie celebrates the strength and individuality of women, as Helen Morris the Designer says “For women who wear lingerie as a love letter to themselves”.
Speaking from experience I have often felt the very subject of lingerie as trivial and superficial. Coming from my unconscious bias, I have at times been embarrassed to say I work in the lingerie industry, let alone run a lingerie blog in case of been labeled frivolous. I am now making a conscious effort to call out any unconscious biases that I may have around sexuality and gender.
The lingerie industry has much to blame for sexualizing and objectifying women – continuing that old sexist agenda. Lingerie has for most of history been attached to the idea of the boudoir; seducing men or entertaining men. Nowadays as we move away from those sexist notions and towards female emancipation, women are seeing lingerie as a tool for personal empowerment.
“Don’t save your good lingerie for dates, wear it for you” - Burlesque star and lingerie designer Dita Von Teese
Woman and society are finally finding value in the feminine, and as more women find authority through their own feminine divine, society will have to become aware to not trivialize and sexualize women. Removing the stigma of shame around female sexuality and the female body will further enable us to have a more gender equal and body inclusive society. When certain characteristics of women are no longer labeled as inferior or trivialized then we will have true equality.
“Mentors of mine were under a big pressure to minimize their femininity to make it. I’m not going to do that. That takes away my power. I’m not going to compromise who I am.” Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
Putting lingerie on and feeling empowered is a revolutionary act. Wearing lingerie, owning my sexuality and femininity empowers me. Here I am imperfect and all, rejecting the beauty standard and loving myself whole. I adorn my body because I want to, not because anyone has asked it of me, or for anyone’s viewing pleasure. I am taking back my ‘trivial’ femininity and owning it. I practice self-love and worship my divine feminine. For other women it may be make-up, killer heels, or getting their nails done, whatever our society may deem superficial, if you find power in the act of doing so, do it.
As I experience my body and become more accepting of my feminine preferences, I can not help feel a certain identity and power within owning these idiosyncrasies. I refuse to be part of the system that trivializes the feminine and promotes personal anxieties. Until all aspects of the feminine are embraced and not trivialized women won’t have true equality.
In the meantime, I will continue headstrong, wearing lingerie and red lipstick.